It's been a year.
A year since I stepped way out of my comfort zone and my steady life in the States.
I jumped feet first into life in Mexico.
Unlike some of my former roommates who are much better about blogging (I'm looking at you Tacha and Ellen), I haven't made a new post since May of last year. Some of that is because blogging seemed slightly lower on my priority scale than getting settled into college, but honestly some of it had to do with my lack of something to say.
I've been so busy doing so many things that I haven't stopped to reflect on how to explain how much life has changed for me in a year. So here it goes:
I flew back to the States.
I very slowly adjusted to things like public water fountains, driving while actually following road signage, hearing English instead of Spanish, and not getting Taco Tuesday.
I worked for the summer.
I moved to Athens.
I got three new roommates.
I started college at UGA. Go Dawgs.
Sorry, Jeff and Liesa. I know the disappointment is acute.
I found a new church.
I took way too many classes my first semester.
I started taking Farsi/Persian which is a completely new language to me.
I finally finished that awful first semester.
I got to go home for three precious weeks at Christmas.
I started a second semester.
I made new friends.
I went on a mission trip for spring break.
I calculated how many classes I have left before I graduate. It seems like too many and not enough time.
I applied for and got turned down for an internship I really wanted.
I started to think about what happens after college. This is a novel thought for me.
But in everything that's happened over this year, one remaining theme has been glaringly evident to me.
Me.
Almost every single one of those sentences started with I.
College has made me pull into myself and become more introverted than I've ever been. And that's made me more self-centered than I've ever been. I don't want to be self-centered.
I want to be Christ-centered.
This is something that's been heavy on my mind after spending my spring break supposedly helping others. I noticed on the trip that I kept putting everything in terms of what I wanted or how it was going to affect me. In Mexico, it was easy to be Christ-centered. I was in an unfamiliar places with new people and nothing was normal to me. That made me lean more on my relationship with Christ than on my ability to do things. In the States, I feel back into self-sufficiency and self-placating habits. That's not Christianity. Christianity is about others. Helping other people, sharing Jesus with other people, loving on other people, and being Christ to other people.
So here's my new plan:
I want to be interested in other people. How they feel, what they are looking for, what hurts them, what makes them laugh, and anything else they want to tell me. I want to be a listener and not a talker. That's going to be hard for me. I like to fix things and make people feel better by giving them advice. I can't make that my goal anymore. I have to listen.
My life verse is Micah 6:8 - "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
For me, this has my life plan in it:
Justice- My career aspirations.
Mercy- The things I need to work on as I go through life. Because anyone who has met me for even a short time knows how little mercy I have most days.
Walk- My daily walk with Christ and how important and influential it is.
So my listening? That's loving mercy. I don't love easily, nor am I merciful. The Lord has been showing me and working on me about this for several months now. I want to be teachable when I'm not falling under what the Lord requires of me. I'm going to heed His direction to listen to be more like Him and less like me.
My year has been hard. There have been times I've been angry about moving to Athens and dealing with new places and people. Times when I wanted to throw my hands up and say I'm done with this. Even so, my focus needs to shift. I'm not focusing on me now. I'm focusing on other people.
That's what this year is about.
A year since I stepped way out of my comfort zone and my steady life in the States.
I jumped feet first into life in Mexico.
Unlike some of my former roommates who are much better about blogging (I'm looking at you Tacha and Ellen), I haven't made a new post since May of last year. Some of that is because blogging seemed slightly lower on my priority scale than getting settled into college, but honestly some of it had to do with my lack of something to say.
I've been so busy doing so many things that I haven't stopped to reflect on how to explain how much life has changed for me in a year. So here it goes:
I flew back to the States.
I very slowly adjusted to things like public water fountains, driving while actually following road signage, hearing English instead of Spanish, and not getting Taco Tuesday.
I worked for the summer.
I moved to Athens.
I got three new roommates.
I started college at UGA. Go Dawgs.
Sorry, Jeff and Liesa. I know the disappointment is acute.
I found a new church.
I took way too many classes my first semester.
I started taking Farsi/Persian which is a completely new language to me.
I finally finished that awful first semester.
I got to go home for three precious weeks at Christmas.
I started a second semester.
I made new friends.
I went on a mission trip for spring break.
I calculated how many classes I have left before I graduate. It seems like too many and not enough time.
I applied for and got turned down for an internship I really wanted.
I started to think about what happens after college. This is a novel thought for me.
But in everything that's happened over this year, one remaining theme has been glaringly evident to me.
Me.
Almost every single one of those sentences started with I.
College has made me pull into myself and become more introverted than I've ever been. And that's made me more self-centered than I've ever been. I don't want to be self-centered.
I want to be Christ-centered.
This is something that's been heavy on my mind after spending my spring break supposedly helping others. I noticed on the trip that I kept putting everything in terms of what I wanted or how it was going to affect me. In Mexico, it was easy to be Christ-centered. I was in an unfamiliar places with new people and nothing was normal to me. That made me lean more on my relationship with Christ than on my ability to do things. In the States, I feel back into self-sufficiency and self-placating habits. That's not Christianity. Christianity is about others. Helping other people, sharing Jesus with other people, loving on other people, and being Christ to other people.
So here's my new plan:
I want to be interested in other people. How they feel, what they are looking for, what hurts them, what makes them laugh, and anything else they want to tell me. I want to be a listener and not a talker. That's going to be hard for me. I like to fix things and make people feel better by giving them advice. I can't make that my goal anymore. I have to listen.
My life verse is Micah 6:8 - "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
For me, this has my life plan in it:
Justice- My career aspirations.
Mercy- The things I need to work on as I go through life. Because anyone who has met me for even a short time knows how little mercy I have most days.
Walk- My daily walk with Christ and how important and influential it is.
So my listening? That's loving mercy. I don't love easily, nor am I merciful. The Lord has been showing me and working on me about this for several months now. I want to be teachable when I'm not falling under what the Lord requires of me. I'm going to heed His direction to listen to be more like Him and less like me.
My year has been hard. There have been times I've been angry about moving to Athens and dealing with new places and people. Times when I wanted to throw my hands up and say I'm done with this. Even so, my focus needs to shift. I'm not focusing on me now. I'm focusing on other people.
That's what this year is about.
